I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize