This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
this boner is exhausting
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
