I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
