either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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