I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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