Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
