It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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