I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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