They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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