how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
