hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
