i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
