wat bout pragnant strippers??
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
