The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
