So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
