There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
