Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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