Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
