i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
