Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
