Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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