i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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