just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
