if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
