ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
