id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just googled if crying burns calories
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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