i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
