I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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