I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
