this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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