it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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