I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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