Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
