they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Mom said you looked used
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
