I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
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Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
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Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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