ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
there was a trapeze. enough said
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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