I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
