Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
it glows. i had to have it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
