i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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