and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
