her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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