Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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