loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
