I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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