Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize