I like my sex mixed with concussions.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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