i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have fence marks all over my body
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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