They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
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