marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
