u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
