Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize