and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
