Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
