Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He had one of those small greek statue penises
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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