I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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