all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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