after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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