oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize