Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
