My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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