I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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