At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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