exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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