We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Randomize