Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
