I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
