Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
