Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
