I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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