People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
